What's In A Name?

We’ve all heard the names before: Namath, Tittle, Favre, Montana, Tarkenton. These are NFLers we know by one name. We don’t need the given name to bring up a vivid picture in our minds of who they are. Like Elvis, Charo, O.J., Liberace, or Ali, we know these famous people by a single moniker.

But, more often than not, when speaking of other elite players from the NFL, you need both names: Jerry Rice, Walter Payton, Jim Brown, Barry Sanders, etc.

Today, there are players who have similar or identical (read that forgettable) names who play completely different positions. This can get to be a tad bit confounding.

Here’s a list of some of those:

Derrick Johnson, Cornerback, CB, Atlanta Falcons
Derrick Johnson, Linebacker, LB, Kansas City Chiefs

Michael Lewis, Safety, S, San Francisco 49ers
Michael Lewis, Wide Receiver, WR, New Orleans Saints

Alex Smith, Tight end, TE, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Alex Smith, Quarterback, QB, San Francisco 49ers

Mike Williams, Tackle, T, Jacksonville Jaguars
Mike Williams, Wide Receiver, WR, Detroit Lions

Roy Williams, Safety, S, Dallas Cowboys
Roy Williams, Wide Receiver, WR, Detroit Lions

There’s also Roydell Williams, Wide Receiver, WR, Tennessee Titans, whom, I am sure, was called “Roy” at one point in his life.

Then there are the homophones. (No, not homophobes, you idiot.) These are name that sound alike, but are spelled differently. For instance:

Donnie Jones, Punter, P, Miami Dolphins
Dahni Jones, Linebacker, LB, Philadelphia Eagles

From the speed-reading department come names like:

Bryan Johnson, Running back, RB, Chicago Bears
Bryant Johnson, Wide Receiver, WR, Arizona Cardinals

Watch out for that “t”. Sometimes they just sneak up on ya.

Speaking of Bryant—I remember hearing the tail end of a broadcast where the announcer said, “Young will return to the 49ers.” His sidekick said that Young was too old to return to the field. Immediately I thought of Steve Young and thought, “Is he crazy?” Shows you what an idiot I was. Although I still think that announcers should use both names and qualify that when speaking of the player by using his position and team.

You can see how this can get confusing and how people can make mistakes. I was reading about Adrian Peterson, Running back, RB, Chicago Bears, and immediately thought I was in a coma and missed the NFL Draft. I quickly went on-line to check. Sure enough, there it was. Adrian Peterson is projected to go to the Cleveland Browns in one mock draft I read.

If that isn’t enough to scratch your head, check this out. And I am not making this up—unlike most of the other crap I write. (Here are links to prove it, plus a screenshot in case they fixed it by the time you read this.)

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/player?categoryId=300165
Foxsports.com lists Chicago Bears linebacker Rod Wilson as #59. His picture is posted there—a white guy in a suit.

http://www.nfl.com/players/playerpage/552682
On NFL.com, they list Chicago Bears linebacker Rod Wilson as #64. His picture is posted as an African-American in a jersey. Both have the same birthdate.

The media and the NFL do not make mistakes. Therefore, only one conclusion is possible.

They are twins.

Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead

If I were a wide-eyed player working at the combine, waiting for pro day, and looking forward to the draft, I would be scared shitless if the Broncos took a liking to me.

With all respect to Darrent Williams’ and Damien Nash’s families, the fatality rate for a Broncos’ player is so freaking high, given the choice, it makes being Osama Bin Laden’s food taster a most desirable career move.

Adam Carriker, the DE from Nebraska had a great Senior Bowl. His stock has risen so high, he is now on the radar to be taken by the Broncos with the 21st overall pick. If nothing changes between now and draft day, I think I’ll pay a pre-emptive shiva call to Adam’s family. I’ll bring a nice bundt cake.

Lately, along with the bad decisions made by current starters (Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson come to mind), death has been an increasing factor in the NFL and the people it touches—Tony Dungy’s son, LaDanian Tomlinson’s father, Brett Favre’s brother-in-law, Art Shell’s coaching career—all these things add up to a league that’s had more tragedy than elation.

Death is the one thing that’s out of our hands as human beings. When the time comes, there is no way to say to the guy behind you, “You can go ahead of me; I’m waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom.”

Be it watching their son run with a ball, watching their dad coach a division leader, or knocking down passes from future hall-of-famers, it is my contention that living your life doing what you love to do, no matter the risk, is much more fulfilling than vocational complacency.

Just don’t do it in Denver.