A Meeting Of The Minds

The Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts are meeting with President Bush at the White House today. Jim Irsay, owner of the Colts, chartered a jet and will take those players and coaches who were the biggest part of the Super Bowl win.

A few questions arise with this whole scenario.

1. Why did it take so long to set up this meeting? It seems a tad inconvenient with the draft coming up on Saturday, doesn’t it?

2. Dominic Rhodes, Nick Harper, and Cato June will be attending. These players are no longer with the team. It’s the equivalent of going to your ex-wife’s engagement party. How awkward can you get?

3. Will this meeting be cut short because of Boris Yeltsin’s untimely demise?

4. Is President Bush a Bears fan?

Raise your hand if you wish you could be a fly on the wall in this little soiree. I‘ll try to speculate on the conversation that will transpire.

BUSH: (Outstretched arms) Gentlemen, welcome to my humble abode.

IRSAY: (Shaking hands with the President) Thank you very much, sir. This is a real honor and privilege to be here. Let me introduce to our head coach, Tony Dungy.

DUNGY: (Shaking hands with the President) It’s a pleasure, sir.

BUSH: I don’t believe I have ever seen you without a baseball cap. You look a little like Britney Spears, heh, heh. You know the head coach is the Commander-In-Chief of the football team. I’m the Commander-In-Chief of the United States, so we sort of have something in common, heh, heh.

DUNGY: (With utmost composure) Uh, yes, sir.

BUSH: (To Peyton Manning) So, you must be the quarterback of this fine team. You know, the quarterback is like the General on a battlefield. I’m like the General of the United States, so we sort of have something in common, heh, heh.

MANNING: (With utmost composure) Uh, yes, sir.

(Dead silence. President Bush stands around with his hands on his hips, grinning)

IRSAY: (Breaking silence) Mr. President, this is Cato June, a valuable asset to our Super Bowl winning defense.

BUSH: (Shaking hands) Cato, huh? So, you’re kind of like Bruce Lee in The Green Hornet.

JUNE: (Looking around for help)

DUNGY: Uh, that was before his time.

BUSH: Oh, I see. Sure. Well, Cato, you are like a soldier on the football field. I’m not a soldier, I’m Commander-In-Chief. But, you know, we had a soldier in Afghanistan who was in…

ADVISOR: (whispering something in President Bush’s ear)

BUSH: Oh… Well, keep up the good work, Cato. I bet your teammates are looking forward to playing with you again. Perhaps you can win another Super Bowl.

ADVISOR: (whispering something in President Bush’s ear)

BUSH: Oh… Well, it certainly was a pleasure to meet you all. I wish I could spend more time with you, but I have pay a shiva call to Boris Yeltsin’s family. Do you know where I could get a good fruit cake?

Indeed we do, Mr. President. Indeed we do.